Basically, some research has found that when our kids are acting needy – you know, pulling at your pant legs, crying inconsolably, throwing tantrums – it’s because well, you haven’t met their quota of quality time with them.

Sounds like a no-brainer, right? But how often do we go for the quick fix – looking for something to distract or occupy or satisfy them for that moment  – anything to get them to be quiet… And it might work for a little bit, before it starts right back up again, and suddenly everyone’s frustration level is rising and rising.

So here’s the common sense advice that we all know is the answer, but don’t often really take the time to put into practice – When your kids are telling us they need more of our attention, give it to them. No, seriously give it to them. I mean drop everything, close the laptop, get off the phone and spend a few minutes just focusing on your child. Read a few books, go for a walk, turn up the radio and spend some time dancing, get out the coloring book, whatever. Point is, just engage with your child on their terms.

It seems so simple, but why don’t we put it into practice enough? Ever had that fear that if you give in to your child’s needs on their terms that they’ll just continue to take more and more, want more and more, or gasp! Become spoiled?

But here’s the thing – it doesn’t really work that way, and in fact that problem is probably rooted in some problems that you have with your own upbringing, but that’s a whole other section of the parenting book avalanche for another time – when you meet your child’s quota of attention, it makes them feel secure and confident enough in your love to be able to play more independently. In other words, somewhat sadly, the more love and attention you shower on your kids, the less they’ll need it. Or at least it might appear that way – but never fear, if we’re doing our job as Dads – they’ll come to know that there’s no such thing as too much, and that they deserve all they’re given.

With everything made in China, and more and more stuff coming from China apparently poisonous in one way or another, it can seem pretty overwhelming – Does this bottle have BPA or PVC? Is that going to give my daughter cancer? What about the plastic lining in that can of food? Does this rubber ducky have pthalates? What the heck are pthalates? They do what to my son’s sexual development?

Or perhaps you have this question in mind now, which is arguably the scariest of them all:  What the heck are you talking about? I haven’t heard of any of this.

Hard to blame anyone with that reaction – there’s already plenty of stuff to worry about today, and Bisphenol-A (BPA) doesn’t make the most exciting headline fodder. But the reality is that this stuff is out there, and a growing consensus of scientists say it’s something we should be concerned about.

But I also know it’s impossible to keep up with all this stuff – I’m not fully informed, and reporting on these topics is part of what I do for a living. But I’ve developed this list of things parents need to know when it comes to the scary chemicals that are out there in things that can eventually end up in your child’s mouth, and how to avoid them:

1. The Government is Working On It – Yes, it’s true, the FDA and Congress have actually enacted some measures to get Pthalates – a plastic softener used in toys like rubber duckies that has been linked to developmental problems in children – out of products in the US. There’s also an ongoing battle about what to do on BPA – and while not much has actually happened, manufacturers are voluntarily taking the chemical out of many products.
2. Don’t rely on the Government to Protect You and Your Family – The government has always been two steps behind the curve on everything, and these days with the information available to the public, it’s more like ten steps. And even though Pthalates have been effectively banned, the Consumer Product Safety Commission has a very underwhelming enforcement division with no real way of inspecting the vast majority of the billions of pounds of imported products that come into our ports every week.
3. Play Defense – In this day and age, might as well assume that anything that was manufactured through a heavy industrial process likely came in contact with or contains some unsafe materials, especially if it was made in China, and especially if it contains plastics. Simply try not to let any of these products end up in your child’s mouth. Let friends and family know about your concerns in case they’re considering going on a shopping spree for gifts in the toy aisle at Wal-Mart.
4. There Once was a World Without Plastics – Consider using cloth or unpainted wooden toys as much as possible. For those few things that will be in little mouths a lot, and that are much easier to manage when they’re plastic – sippy cups, pacifiers, etc.. – do the research online, find companies you trust that manufacture BPA-free and otherwise safe products, and spend a little more for those few necessities – they’re usually not major purchases anyhow. It’ll be worth the peace of mind and send a message to manufacturers still using the chemicals. I’ll try to post a list of a few examples soon.
5. You are what You eat – Don’t Become Frankenstein – I could start a whole other blog on scary food issues, and am strongly considering it, actually – but for the issue at hand, which is restricted mostly to that plastic lining in some tin cans, which often contains BPA – this is a tough one.  At the moment, the only guaranteed way to avoid BPA in lined tin cans is to buy Eden Organic, which found a way to cut out BPA ten years ago, or to go with glass or other containers. It’s a big shift, but considering buying bulk dry goods like beans, or canning or freezing fresh foods cuts out the risk, and saves a buck or two over time.

I’ll keep you updated as more issue comes out, but try to follow this basic principles, and you and your family will significantly reduce your risk of coming in contact with chemicals that could cause problems down the road.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ADD ANY OTHER TIPS OR UPDATES IN THE COMMENTS BELOW.

More Resources: BPA in Canned Food: Tips to Avoid It

Going on a week now since my great experiment in sleep deprivation and time management – getting up at some Godless hour before dawn to get some precious quiet keyboard time in before the fam rises and daily MtnDaddy chaos ensues.

Been up  at around 5:30 each morning the last week – 2-3 hours ahead of the bean’s normal wake-up/shout ‘mommydaddymommydaddy’/demand applesauce and read a book time.

But on only day 2, the bean seemed to catch on, and I was greeted with a waaay unusual 5 AM shouting of “mommydaddymommydaddy!’

Whoa, she’s totally trying to out-do me. Am I proud or pissed? No wait, I just have to take one…

Anyway, we sorted that one out, and after a little lullaby, the bean seemed to remember the sweetness of sleep and the insanity of Dad’s new schedule – and there’s been no more 5 AM powwows since.

Know any parents who get up before the crack of dawn every morning… 5, 4 AM just to get some quiet, productive time before the kids arise and the chaos begins? The very concept used to seem offensive, given my life-long torrid love affair with sleep.  But now, here I am, a full-blown adult who works form home, makes my own schedule, living the dream I’ve had since my first day having to get up for school at Age 5, and yet, I’m up of my own free will at 5:30.

My wife thinks I’m insane, but having a few things done and out of the way before Flora arises has taken down some stress a notch and allows me to have a little more focused family time without the nagging feeling of the day’s deadlines to distract from my daughter’s rapid, never-gonna-see-it-again development.

All that said, it’s not as easy as it seems.  Green tea just isn’t seeming strong enough these mornings to clear my head, and this morning, Flora woke up a few hours early at 6:15. So much for hours of quiet productivity. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to have a conversation about horses and Curious George.

After checking out the site, I have to admit it seems weird to take the kids out of school for what’s essentially an experience to pump up Mom’s marketing business and give her some kooky ‘on the road’ anecdotes for public speaking engagements, but at the same time… how cool is this?

Familyofftrack.com

What our setup looked like.

New research just out suggests that Co-Sleeping with young children is dangerous, citing a number of recent deaths. The BBC has the entire skinny here . Some key excerpts:

The risk is greatest if either parent smokes, has been drinking, has taken sedative medication or is “very tired”….

…Data from Dr Marta Cohen, paediatric pathologist at Sheffield Children’s Hospital, showed that of the 50 cases she investigated (of sudden infant deaths) between 2004 and 2007, 31 were found to have been sharing a bed or sofa with a parent.

While it’s no doubt that these deaths are tragedies, all indications are that they could have been avoided if we simplified the rules of co-sleeping down to one rule that all parents follow: Don’t co-sleep if you’re irresponsible, stupid, or both.

Many of these deaths occured when parents were sleeping with children while under the influence of substances like alcohol, overly exhausted, or on sofas. These are all common sense things to be avoiding, and there’s no reason to issue a blanket condemnation of a very beneficial practice like co-sleeping because of a few irresponsible parents.

Then again, don’t feel pressure from parents like me or anyone else. Co-sleeping was a great experience for us with out daughter, but we did it in a way that we were comfortable with, we used a co-sleeper placed next to the bed so it was impossible for either of us to roll over on her. We were still close to our daughter, but we felt more secure about her safety.

Don’t let our culture of fear overwhelm your parenting and what’s best for your child.  And don’t pay attention to blankey judgments meant for the lowest common denominators of our society to protect themselves from themselves.

The New Kelty

The Kelty can be pricey, but it’s made us more mobile in our mountainous surroundings now that Flora has outgrown her Ergo carrier, and that’s worth every penny – especially since we found ours used.

Be sure to get the backpack addition that zips on to be able to bring along, snack, drinks and whatever gear. I’ve seen others out there that seem to offer a lot more extra ‘baggage space’ behind the child. Without having tested them, I’d say they look attractive, but having worn the Kelty, I have to wonder how that sort of design would affect your back, and it’s also even pricier, so for now we’re happy to stick with this Kelty, which makes it ultra-easy to load up the family and go, even when it’s just Flora and I.

• http://www.shopkeltykids.com/Kelty-FC-30.pro

OK, I didn't have a camera, here's the trail later in the season

After dealing with a few last minute stories that needed editing, the girl and I made it out the door and up the road a few miles for a hike. The snow has finally melted enough to make it all the way to the end of our forest road and the trailhead that leads into the Pecos wilderness.

I gassed Flora up with some Cherry Cider and a few snacks and strapped her into our Kelty baby backpack that I’m slowly falling in love with (more on this in a separate post) and we hit the trail for a short mid-afternoon hike-break.  After some fun in the mud and seasonal snowmelt streams at the top of a hill just short of the Wilderness boundary, we headed back down, fitting the whole excursion into one, all-too-short hour, getting home in time to wrap up my editing shift for the day. Sigh.

Other important new developments: Flora took great pains to enlighten me on the difference between “rock” and “big rock” and of course, no mud-puddle went unnoticed.

After being coaxed back into about another half hour of sleep, Flora was up for good by 6:20 and the day had begun.
The plan was to get the morning busy work out of the way in time to go for a quick hike as soon as Mommy takes off for work at 9:30 (ok, more like 10). But halfway up the forest road to the trailhead, Flora’s head began to bob and short blinks turned into long morse code dashes of darkness.
So, at 10:15 and with a phone interview scheduled for 12 – no sense in spending precious productive naptime dragging a sleepy kid up the side of a beautiful spring slope. We turned around just short of the trailhead to head back for a proper nap.

Two hours later, flower is juggling my pencils while I type. So, with little left in the work queue, we’re off for a belated midday hike!